There I was, jumping in with all 4s at once one day, making these blind dates, and now I am getting cold feet. The 'what if's' are seriously clouding my excitement and I am thinking of calling it all off. I am thinking that I won't be good enough and that I just make a fool of myself *eyeroll*. Well, thank you Mother, as it is you who instilled that in me. It's you who always told me that I wasn't good enough, and too stupid, and not good looking enough etc etc. Ok, ok, I know that it is my fault that I still let that affect me, but gordon bennett and fuck-a-duck it does affect me. I am so trying to stop it and get excited again, try to think of what to wear and how to style myself, but within minutes that goes out the window. Grrrrrrrr!!! But I will make the date tomorrow, even if I throw anything on at the last minute, rush out with my underwear the wrong way round and no make-up. She just sounds so lovely, I HAVE to meet her. Why the hell am I so scared!!!
Tuesday, 24 March 2009
Pffffffffffffft ...
There I was, jumping in with all 4s at once one day, making these blind dates, and now I am getting cold feet. The 'what if's' are seriously clouding my excitement and I am thinking of calling it all off. I am thinking that I won't be good enough and that I just make a fool of myself *eyeroll*. Well, thank you Mother, as it is you who instilled that in me. It's you who always told me that I wasn't good enough, and too stupid, and not good looking enough etc etc. Ok, ok, I know that it is my fault that I still let that affect me, but gordon bennett and fuck-a-duck it does affect me. I am so trying to stop it and get excited again, try to think of what to wear and how to style myself, but within minutes that goes out the window. Grrrrrrrr!!! But I will make the date tomorrow, even if I throw anything on at the last minute, rush out with my underwear the wrong way round and no make-up. She just sounds so lovely, I HAVE to meet her. Why the hell am I so scared!!!
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it is so shit that we have to deal with this but also a good thing for our daughters that we have done the opposite and they have grown so strong! go out and enjoy yourself - don't stress and don't think of it as a date but just meeting a new person - and if she doesn't crochet you must teach her lol xxx
ReplyDeleteit's ok if she doesn't crochet, she does other artwork ... community sculptures and such. and ur right ... just another person! wtf do i wear LOL. xx
ReplyDeleteJust meet a new friend. No big deal. Right?
ReplyDelete