Scared, fed up and pissed off!!!

<--- This could be my housemate!!! He's just had 5 days off in which he did nothing for the benefit of the household apart from taking the dogs out on Saturday morning for 20 minutes whilst I was shopping, oh yes, and his dishes last Thursday evening whilst I was out. Apart from that he kept leaving his crumbs all over the kitchen, more than once a day, washed his hands about 10 times a day leaving the sink and bathroom covered in water, and generally dropping his stuff where he walked. And of course, with him being in the house all day, there is a lot more dust and dirt. I am soooo fed up with it and pissed off with him. Not once did he offer to cook or clean up after. I can't live in such dirt, so I clean it, and if I ever say anything, he just grins inanely and walks off. Ok, so I don't pay rent, but I pay all the electricity, half the gas, half the telephone/TV/broadband bill, I pay ALL the food and household goods and do generally all the cooking and cleaning as he works. Somehow I don't think that I should be paying rent!!! Unfortunately I can't tell him to get out, as the deposit for the house is in his name. I would never be able to find that sort of money. I have been so wound up the last few days, that it worsened the breathing marlarky and induced various panic attacks. I could kill him at the moment ... seriously. Oh yes, and it's every weekend the same, he comes home on a Friday eve and says he is ill. Which of course relieves him from all house duties ... including mowing the lawn, changing light bulbs, any repairs that might be needed. I am a one-woman-show in that respect. I can now even fix the lawn mower! It's a bit like living with the teenager from hell. Today he has shuffeled off back to work and the whole place is in such a state, because I haven't been too well myself, that I don't know where to start with the cleaning/tidying and find it very difficult to find the energy to even think about it. It depresses me ...

Went to the spirometry this morning, but had to fight that the nurse even did it. I got called into the treatment room and when she heard me wheeze, she said: "Sorry love, can't do it when you're that chesty." So I flew off the handle a bit, telling her that if I wasn't this chesty and had suspected COPD, we probably wouldn't need to do this. She must have seen that I was not joking and did the bloody test. Telling me off in between for not blowing long enough ... but hey, I just couldn't. She wouldn't let on anything about the results, which I suppose is normal, but I am seeing the doctor at 4pm today. So hopefully all will be revealed then. All I could glance from the scrap of paper the machine spat out was: "Estimated lung age: 74", so that was a bit of a shock. She scolded me for smoking and I told her, that I had put my name down for the no-smoking clinic over 3 weeks ago, but had not heard from them. She checked up and informed me, that my name wasn't down on the list. Thank you, Mrs Receptionist, for doing your job properly ... Grrrrrrrrrrrr! Anyway, I have now an appointment to see the no-smoking nurse on Thursday afternoon. Success!!! I will also get the doc today to write me prescriptions for the nicorette inhalator and patches. Mentally I am a non-smoker already, physically I will be in a few days. I need/want to do this! Soon!