Apparently I was reading by the age of 5. Nobody has ever owned up to teaching me, my parents would have been far too busy, so I must have picked it up somehow. As this was before the days of a TV set, I haven't got a clue where though. I must admit, I can't remember anything about it. By the age of 8 I was playing Mozart, Beethoven and Bach on the piano ... and not the easy learning pieces either. From the age of 8 - 11 I was the best pupil in my years. I have awards to prove that. I was a sheltered child, no friends allowed, in and out of the house. That way I could concentrate on becoming something or somebody. At 12 I started rebelling and had my first joint. At 13 my parents separated and subsequently got divorced and I had my first LSD. At 14 I had my first boyfriend and shot up heroin for the first time. At 15 I was an addict. At 16 I got raped by a Puerto Rican. At 17 I finally got kicked out of school and went to India and Nepal ... for the drugs. At 19 I served my first prison sentence. At 20 I had a daughter, at 22 she got taken away from me. At 23 I was in prison in Turkey. At 24 in prison in Germany, then ran a brothel in Berlin. At 27 I came to England and stopped heroin. At 29 I was back on heroin and stripping and sex working in London. At 32 I got married, had 1 abortion and 2 miscarriages. On my 40th birthday I went back on heroin. At 42 I got clean and stayed clean. I am 50 now. What the fuck happened???P.S.: And I completely forgot to say, that at 47 I was diagnosed with HepC, but got the all clear just recently!!!
You can still 'be somebody.' Decide what you want to be when you grow up. Apply to university, you can get financial aide. You're not done yet - you're a work in progress.
ReplyDeleteOh well it sounds like you had an interesting life!
ReplyDeleteYour photo reminds me a lot of someone I used to know from the London trance party scene in the late 90s. She was German as well...
... I'm not sure there's any "as well" about it as you don't say where you were born, I'm sorry!
ReplyDeleteWow! What a life, dear Fishwhiskers. You should write a book. I'd love to read it.
ReplyDeleteAnd I agree. You ARE a work in progress. Too bad I live in America. I'd love to have a coffee and a chat with you. You are an interesting person to say the least.
Love to you,
SB
Thanks for the comments ... had to laugh at 'work in progress' and 'growing up'. I am more likely to be a childish unfinished symphony LOL ... or should that be cacophony?
ReplyDelete@ MYS ... did the study route when I hit 40, got me back on drugs. Still did my degree ... never worked as a Graphic Designer LOL
@ Gledwood ... thanks for popping by :-) Yes, I am German, but was never at home in the trance scene in London. My musical taste is a lot heavier hehe.
@ SB ... how nice to see u again, and I genuinely mean that. Such a shame ur in the States. Well, u never know, I might make it over there one day ... when I am rich and famous hahaha.
Love & Peace to y'all xxx
Fish, you have lead quite an interesting life. Maybe what the hell happened was too much pressure, maybe just genetics, maybe too much isolation. It's done and over. I look back at the past to remind me that I have a new day today. I echo SB, I'd like to sit and talk to you as well.
ReplyDeleteIch bin ein Berliner auch..actually just lived there, born in Stuttgart. But that was long ago, I really am American now..except for the German "ordnung" fetish, which I will always have.
ReplyDeleteUnfortunately, I have 1st hand knowledge of heroin, due to my junky son. He is 26, so I'm gathering by your post this could go on for awhile..*sigh*
All junkys have interesting lives. And I mean that in a sincere way.
Things could be better things could be worse.
ReplyDeleteAs always.
Writing a book isn't a bad idea, as someone already pointed out... for them who took the safe route... vicarious thrills from withdrawal chills...
I'm in a relatively clean phase right now but as I can see from your quickly condensed story, at 30 there's still easily another 30 of this idiocy and lunacy to go...