Head over heels or arse over tits?

That is a very valid question! And yes, part of me probably has fallen head over heels in love, where as the other part thinks it's all arse over tits! I don't know how this might work, when it might happen and nor the if's and what's and why's ... It's all very fucked up! Me living here, having too much respect to want to hurt the housemate ex, but not really seeing a way out fast either. Running away together ... nice idea, but not practical and it would drive me insane. I know I need some sort of stability, so do the dogs and my elderly cat. In principle I wouldn't mind moving, even if it is the other side of the country or even Ireland or Scotland. There is not that much, that keeps me in Bristol. But ... there need to be certain basics in place first, i.e. a place to live. And there is not! What is a girl to do? He might have to go away for a few weeks anyway, so that might be an opportunity to feel how I really feel ... if that makes sense. At the moment I am so messed up, it's been too unexpected and sort of unwanted too.

On top of that, I have real concerns about a friend of mine. As her father died recently, she lost a very important link in life and seems to be completely cracking up ... to the extend of suicidal tendencies. I do try and talk to her, but not a lot seems to be sinking in. She combats her long-faring depression with anti-d's, drink and weed. Not a good combination as I know from experience. On the other hand I do understand the need to take the pain away. I have tried steering her into the direction of grievance counselling and subsequently behavioural counselling (she is doing counselling for sexual abuse already), but she has voiced the opinion, that it "doesn't do any good anyway". I was trying to point out to her, that the counselling she is receiving at the moment is wrong. There comes a time when it isn't conducive to delve into the past any more, but when the pick-up (i.e. behavioural counselling) is needed. I feel she is dwelling too much on her horrific past instead of looking to a brighter future. At the moment she is staying with a friend, so I know she is safe, but eventually she will have to return to her flat which is in a very unkind, racist area and the behaviour she displays in that area doesn't help either. She has been trying to flat swap or get another property from the council for months, but nothing doing. I do want to be a friend, but it is wearing me out to quite an extend. Any tips???