A Herd of Elephants

... seems to have trampled over me during one of the last nights. I am aching, aching, ACHING ... to the extent that I am on increased painkiller patches and tablets. Nothing seems to touch the aches though. Since yesterday I have also an added headache which feels like neuralgia (nerve pain) rather than the usual thumpers one gets. I do tend to get headaches though when it is stormy outside ... and stormy it is! Where the rest comes from, I am not quite sure. Maybe because it's colder and wetter and arthritis, of which I didn't feel a lot during the hot spell, is rearing its ugly head again. I know I am going to survive this too, it's just inconvenient and inopportune. I would have so much to do, instead I keep leaping into bed having some very trippy dreams instead. Just now I woke up to being embraced by a Great Bernard dog. I was expecting a horse! Let me explain. In the dream I heard a galloping noise coming down the road. So I thought it was a rampaging horse and hid behind a garden wall. Turns out it was this massive dog, which of course sniffed me out behind the wall, put it's paws on my shoulders from behind and proceeded to sniff and lick around my head and shoulders with a low growl ever so often. So that's what I woke up to. As far as interpretation goes I would say that I expected a horse as that symbolises strength, a sense of freedom and beauty, but what came was a dog, a loyal friend (?), well known and possessive, which in my case either represents addiction, HepC or even any form of illness. Go figure ...

Since returning from Glastonbury with a taste of what life could be like, I feel very lonely indeed. Don't get me wrong, I like being alone, but I don't like feeling lonely. There is a HUGE difference! I wished I could have shared my experiences with someone near and dear, but there isn't anybody. The dogs weren't remotely interested! So I have taken up day dreaming ... like what would I do if I had enough money, like win the lottery or get an inheritance (not that I wish for anybody to die of course). Well, if there was enough dosh I would:

1. Buy an old converted van/bus and set off around the UK first during the summer, visiting then carry on to Europe for the winter. Dogs and all!

2. Buy a small holding somewhere, maybe even in Europe ... Spain, Portugal etc.

or alternatively

3. Fulfill my dream of buying some hacienda in Mexico and convert it into a gallery/café and live happily ever after.

Sigh! Dreaming is fun, waking up is harsh. Haste la vista!!!